Weird but true

A ménage à trois turned pleasure into pain — and not the good kind.

Two Fargo, ND, men were simultaneously having sex with a woman when Ashley Hunter, 33, asked Orlando DeWitt, 37, to switch positions with him, police said.

When Dewitt refused, it touched off a bitter argument that ended with Hunter stabbing his threesome buddy, cops said.

***

“The Price is Right” legend Bob Barker doesn’t want to see any more possums coming on down in Brasstown, NC.

The famed animal-rights activist is fighting the town’s New Year’s Eve Possum Drop, in which a possum is placed in a suspended box and lowered during the 11:59 p.m.-to-12 a.m. countdown.

***

Here’s a new way to blow lottery winnings: torch your house while partying on pot and meth!

A Wichita, Kan., man accidentally blew up his home while he and his brother wildly celebrated their recent $75,000 lottery prize, cops said.

The 27-year-old owner was refueling a butane torch, used to light their bongs, when the flames and fumes touched off a huge explosion, cops said.

***

Naked, drunk and wandering the streets is no way to go through life, son.

Spring Hill, Fla., cops busted a 31-year-old mom who passed out drunk on her couch, allowing her 10-year-old son to drink booze and wander outside with no clothes, officials said.

***

Virginia state legislators have sacked the so-called “Tim Tebow Bill” that would have permitted home-schooled kids to play on their local school teams.

A teenaged Tebow took advantage of a Florida law that allowed him to play high school football, although the future Jets QB was home-schooled.

The Virginia proposal died, 8-7, in committee.

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Small business lending rebounds in South Florida

For years, Pablo Oliveira dreamed of buying a property to house his high-end linen and furniture rental company, Nuage Designs, which has created settings for such glamorous events as the weddings of Carrie Underwood and Chelsea Clinton.

A few months ago, that dream came true, when Oliveira purchased a warehouse across the street from his current Miami location. He is now renovating the loft-like space with the help of a $2.1 million, 25-year small business loan.

“It allows me to own my own space as opposed to renting, and that will decrease my costs for infrastructure and allow me to build equity with time,” said Oliveira, who secured a U.S. Small Business Administration-guaranteed loan from Wells Fargo.

For small businesses like Oliveira’s, a loan can be the critical key to growing a business, as well as the kindling to ignite an operation.

Take Harold Scott’s fledgling Great Scott Security, which manufactures window guards in Hollywood that can open quickly in case of need.

When he was 13, Scott’s stepfather perished in a Georgia house fire because he couldn’t escape through heavy window bars. Scott made it his mission to fix the problem.

“I promised myself I would dedicate all my time to working on a solution,” said Scott, 60.

Now retired from a 23-year career in the U.S. Justice Department, Scott recently secured a $7,500 microloan from Partners for Self Employment. He used it to buy a computer and pay for marketing and other business expenses for his quick-release window guards, which have met national, state and Miami-Dade County fire safety codes.

During the depths of the recession, business owners often griped that gaining access to capital was their biggest hurdle. Saddled with bad loans, many banks were wary of making new ones. At the same time, both the value of collateral and the creditworthiness of many borrowers tumbled.

Now, at last, banks are starting to open their pocketbooks again, experts say, though lending is still not on par with pre-recession levels.

“There is no question that small business borrowing declined as a result of the recession and has yet to recover to pre-crisis levels,” said Richard Brown, chief economist for the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp., via email. “According to the Federal Reserve, total loans to noncorporate businesses and farms stood at just under $3.8 trillion in September, which remains below the peak of about $4.1 trillion in the fourth quarter of 2008.”

Signs of Growth

In South Florida, more businesses are applying for loans and getting approvals from banks, according to lenders, officials at government agencies and leaders of organizations that help small business owners secure loans.

“Lenders are expressing a greater interest than they have in the past few years in terms of meeting the needs of the small business community,” said Marjorie Weber, Miami-Dade Chapter Chair of SCORE, which helps business owners put loan packages together and refers them to bankers.

Loan figures are indeed rising. During the fiscal year ending Sept. 30, 2012, SBA-guaranteed loans were up in both Miami-Dade and Broward counties, according to the SBA. In fiscal 2012, 449 loans were approved in Miami-Dade, totaling $213.3 million, up from 426 loans for $154.4 million in 2011. In Broward, 262 loans for $91.4 million were approved in fiscal 2012, compared to 257 loans for $102.4 million in 2011.

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Speaker to discuss the Jews of Zimbabwe

You are invited to hear Modreck Zvakavapano Maeresera and Tudor Parfitt, as they lecture on "The Lamba Jews of Zimbabwe" at 6:45 p.m. Wednesday at the Jewish Museum of Florida, 301 Washington Ave. in Miami Beach.

You will want to attend this event; Maeresera is a leader in the Lemba Jewish community in Zimbaabwe. He coordinates a program of Jewish cyber-learning, studying with volunteer rabbis and teachers via the Internet in Harare, where he teaches other students what he has heard and recorded. In the rural congregation of Mapakomhere, 150 miles from Harare, Maeresera leads Shabbat services and promotes Jewish education.

In a press release statement he said, "My vision is to have a vibrant Lemba community that is fully committed to observing Judaism, the religion of our forefathers, and to have the necessary infrastructure that a Jewish community would need, such as synagogues and schools and religious leaders." He said, in the near future he would like to see Lemba fully reintegrated into mainstream Judaism.

Parfitt is the President Navon Professor of Sephardi-Mizrahi Studies and Research Professor in Florida International University’s School of International and Public Affairs, and has studied emerging Jewish communities around the works. He has studied the Lemba Jews for decades.

It’s free and open to the public.

Kids’ art event continues through Monday

The Children’s Trust will present a "Kids Grove Arts Party," from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. through Monday in the kids zone at Peacock Park in Coconut Grove. The event is in conjunction with the celebration of the 50th anniversary of Abrakadoodle Coconut Grove Arts Festival.

Each day the Abrakadoodle staff will present "Art in Our World Curriculum," one-hour sessions where children will draw, paint, sculpt, design mosaics and collages and well as create in the styles of multicultural master artists to include Picasso, Bearden, Matisse, Miro, Hokusai, Monet, Martinez and Kahlo.

Other highlights will include a 10 a.m. show each day, the musical "Party with Picasso and Friends," presented by Sugar and Spice Puppet Theater, and at 11 a.m., the musical "The Dean of Green, " an eco-children’s theater production that teaches children the importance of growing up green, healthy living and protecting the earth. The play is directed by Corky Dozier, event creator and founder and director of the Coconut Grove Children’s Theater. Dozier also celebrates she 50th year in children’s theater, this year.

Author to speak in Key Biscayne

Lunch with an Author will present award-winning author Mary Murray Bosrock, presenting her newest book, "Grandma Has Wings," at noon Thursday in the Island room of the Key Biscayne Community Center, 10 Village Green Way.

Bosrock, a part-time resident of Key Biscayne, is a popular radio and television guest and has appeared on CNN, CNBC, Fox News and A&E Network. She said she got her "wings" when her two sons, Matt and Steve, gave her six granddaughters in eight years. It amazed her, she said, that her little girls noticed things like arm fat, brown spots, veins and dropping chins, and learned to love what she couldn’t change by turning it into a story. Her granddaughters loved the story so much, that Bosrock decided to share it with other grandmas.

She also is the author of the book series, "Put Your Best Food Forward," which sold worldwide and has been published in Polish, Chinese, Russian, Thai and India.

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Hugh Grant is a Dad Again

Hugh Grant confirmed Saturday that he is a dad again.

PICS: Celebs and Their Cute Kids

The 52-year-old British actor tweeted, "In answer to some journos. Am thrilled my daughter now has a brother. Adore them both to an uncool degree. They have a fab mum."

Hugh and actress Tinglan Hong welcomed a daughter named Tabitha in 2011. No word yet on what Tabitha's little brother is named.

Related: Hugh Grant Responds to Jon Stewart Diss

Hugh told The Guardian in 2012 of being a dad, "I like my daughter very much. Fantastic. Has she changed my life? I'm not sure. Not yet. Not massively, no. But I'm absolutely thrilled to have had her, I really am. And I feel a better person."

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‘Bey-Z’ took a look at Jacko ranch

Jay-Z and Beyoncé toured Neverland Ranch — Michael Jackson’s shuttered, 2,700-acre Southern California estate — and are even interested in buying it, according to Jackson family sources.

Shortly after the rap mogul released his “Watch the Throne” documentary last year, the superstar couple jetted off to the King of Pop’s abandoned palace, where they toured the property with Colony Capital owner Thomas Barrack Jr., who manages the estate.

“It is something that we want to keep in the family,” Jacko’s brother Randy said, but the estate will do what it wishes.

Getty Images

NEVER! Music power couple Beyoncé and Jay-Z deny they’d buy Neverland.

Another sibling told the Post that Jacko’s children, who are heirs to his billion-dollar fortune, get upset each time reports surface of a potential Neverland sale.

“It’s the home they loved, the home their father loved and where they can still connect with him,” the family member said.

Jay-Z didn’t deny touring the $29 million property, but told The Post, “I’ve got no interest in Neverland.”

The Jacksons continue to believe there is a real chance the rap impresario and New Jersey Nets minority owner will make a play for the estate, which has been vacant since Jacko fled to Bahrain in 2005 after winning acquittal of 13 criminal counts related to child molestation.

“If Barrack took them to the ranch himself . . . there has got to be something to it,” a family member said Friday.

It was unclear what hurdles any potential buyer would have to overcome because the property is mostly controlled by Barrack’s Los Angeles-based private-equity firm, which acquired controlling interest in Neverland after taking over a $23.5 million loan on which Jacko defaulted in 2008.

Court documents show that Jacko’s estate still owns an 85 percent stake in Neverland.

The singer originally purchased the property in 1988 for $17 million after shooting a music video with Paul McCartney on the site.

He built an amusement park there, complete with a roller coaster, bumper cars and a Ferris wheel, most of which have been removed or sold at auction.

It was also home to a coterie of animals, a state-of-the-art movie theater, a working train to take visitors around the ranch, a two-story game room, tennis courts, swimming pools and its own fire department.

Barrack refused to answer questions about a potential sale to Jay-Z.

John Branca, the executor of Jacko’s estate — who has been fiercely protective of the late pop star’s image — also declined to comment.

Jacko’s children, Prince, 16, Paris, 14, and Blanket, 10, stand to inherit Neverland when they turn 30.

Jermaine Jackson has expressed a desire for the property becoming a Graceland-like attraction. Elvis’ old home rakes in about $44 million annually, with roughly half that amount earned from ticket sales from visitors there, according to a spokesman.

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NBA’s best player (LeBron James) isn’t best-paid

HOUSTON --
When LeBron James walks onto the court for Houston’s NBA All-Star Game Sunday, he’ll do so as the undisputed king of his sport.

Named the league’s most valuable player three times in the past four years, James is once again dominating the NBA and most likely headed for his fourth MVP award — two fewer than Michael Jordan — with presumably a long career still ahead.

But while James is the most valuable player in the NBA, he’s nowhere close to being the league’s highest paid. Of the 10 players voted into the starting lineup of Sunday’s All-Star Game, five earn more than James, whose salary for this season ranks 13th in the NBA.

James’ decision a while back to “take my talents to South Beach” was a case of trading dollars for victories. The league caps what teams can spend on salaries.

The bimonthly checks cut by team owner Micky Arison this year will equal a bargain come season’s end: $17,545,000.

Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers, the league’s highest-paid player, will earn about $10 million more than that this season.

James understands he’s underpaid in the purest sense, but he also understands reality: He makes obscene amounts of money playing a game. Super-rich athletes who gripe about money seldom get much sympathy — witness the outpouring of scorn when golfer Phil Mickelson recently complained that increased taxes on high earners, coupled with California’s high tax rates, might force him to make “drastic changes” in his playing schedule.

James also makes a fortune in endorsements, from companies ranging from Nike to Sprite to Samsung to Dunkin’ Donuts.

Still, the obvious question remains: Considering not only James’ impact on the Heat, but also his overall contribution to the entire NBA, how much money could James command on the open market if there were no league-imposed economic constraints?

“Per year, if there were no salary-cap restrictions, I think he’s worth well over $100 million, easy,” said Shane Battier, the Heat’s heady forward and former Duke University schoolmate of Heat CEO Nick Arison.

That’s $100 million per year.

It’s an audacious and historic number, but considering James’ recent run of play, it’s not complete fantasy. James is performing at a historic level of excellence. After thoroughly wiping the court in Oklahoma City on Thursday, scoring 39 points, pulling down 12 rebounds and dishing out seven assists, James has scored at least 30 points in seven straight games.

The last player to accomplish that feat going into the All-Star break was Wilt Chamberlain back in 1963.

“This guy, LeBron James, he’s doing stuff that I’ve never seen,” said Hall of Famer Charles Barkley on Thursday night during TNT’s Inside the NBA. “He’s on another planet.”

Considering Barkley’s sharp criticism of James in the past, not to mention his history of going head-to-head with Michael Jordan during both men’s prime, that’s high praise.

But a market value of $100 million?

“Really, it boils down to the ego of an owner,” Battier said. “A lot of owners would pay just to have LeBron James on their team. I can think of a couple that would pay him, easily, nine figures per year.”

According to one numbers cruncher — John Vrooman, an economics professor at Vanderbilt University — Battier’s figure is an overestimation of James’ worth by about $60 million. Here is how his math works: Vrooman used an advanced metric known in the sports world as “win-share,” which assigns a number to each player on a team based on his contributions, both offensively and defensively, for a season. Last season, when James led the Heat to the championship, he had a win-share value of 14.5, which translates to 31.5 percent of the 2011-12 Heat’s 46 regular-season wins.

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Joe Martinez says he’ll challenge Joe Garcia

Joe Martinez, the former Miami-Dade Commission chairman who lost his bid to become county mayor last year, said Friday that he intends to run against U.S. Rep. Joe Garcia in 2014.

“I’m meeting with different people and feeling them out, seeing what the level of support will be there,” Martinez told The Miami Herald shortly after announcing his intentions on Facebook. He wants to get in the race, Martinez said, “to shake it up.”

Martinez’s name has been floated in political circles in connection with the 26th Congressional District since Garcia, a Democrat, defeated incumbent Republican Rep. David Rivera in November. The district extends from Kendall to Key West.

Cites experience

Martinez, a Republican, said he sees himself as a pragmatist in tune with residents’ needs after his 12 years on the County Commission, including two terms as chairman. In his first term, former Mayor Carlos Alvarez campaigned for a strong-mayor referendum. In his second, Alvarez was recalled.

Both times, Martinez said, he helped lead the county. “It actually ran really smoothly,” Martinez said.

He gave up his seat last year to unsuccessfully challenge Mayor Carlos Gimenez. Martinez said Friday that he has since opened a public relations and business development consulting firm.

Focused on duties

Garcia’s chief of staff, Jeffrey Garcia (no relation), said that the congressman “is focused on doing the work that the people sent him here to do.”

“There’ll be plenty of time for politics later,” he added.

Martinez, conceding that “it’s too early to tell” how well Garcia will do as a freshman congressman, said he’s committed to running in two years.

“I’ve survived Miami-Dade politics,” he said. “What’s Washington?”

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'Escape from Planet Earth' Interview

Jessica Alba, Rob Corddry, William Shatner, Sofía Vergara and George Lopez are among the all-star voice cast creating laughs in the fast-paced, animated comedy-adventure Escape from Planet Earth, and they tell ET's Brooke Anderson that it's the perfect film for the whole family.

Pics: 13 Must-See Movies of 2013

In theaters now, the out-of-this-world 3D comedy is told from the alien point of view, following the misadventures of famed interplanetary astronaut Scorch Supernova from the Planet Baab and his buddies. Trapped by evil government forces on the distant "Dark Planet" (aka Earth) and tossed behind bars in Area 51, it's up to his nerdy brother Gary to navigate the third rock from the sun's strange customs and inhabitants in order to save him.

Video: Cosmic Comedy in 'Escape from Planet Earth' Premiere

The film also features the vocal talents of Brendan Fraser, Jane Lynch, Sarah Jessica Parker, Craig Robinson, Steve Zahn, Chris Parnell, Ricky Gervais and Jonathan Morgan Heit.

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‘Blade Gunner’ tear gusher as he’s hit with gal-pal slay rap

“Blade Runner” Oscar Pistorius bawled his eyes out yesterday in a South Africa courtroom, where he appeared on murder charges for allegedly gunning down his terrified gal pal through a locked bathroom door.

Pistorius, 26, “repeatedly and intentionally” shot cover-girl model Reeva Steenkamp, 29, as she cowered in fear from the Olympic star, according to Great Britain’s Independent newspaper.

“The door had bullet holes right through it,” said a neighbor, who noted that security guards found the athlete alongside the slain beauty in his bathroom at around 4 a.m. Thursday.

Photos: EPA

SUPPORTERS: Oscar Pistorius’ father, Henke (left), talks with daughter Aimee yesterday in court, where a photo of the gun that the Olympian allegedly used to kill his gal pal was shown.

OSCAR PISTORIUS


Cries in court yesterday.

The gun-loving Pistorius cried throughout his first court appearance yesterday. The tears started in his holding cell and continued as he was brought before a judge.

“Take it easy,” Chief Magistrate Desmond Nasir told Pistorius, who faces life in prison as prosecutors plan to argue premeditated murder in the death of Steenkamp, a law-school grad he’d been dating a few months.

His bail hearing was delayed until Tuesday at the request of his lawyers, who will argue the shooting was the result of mistaken identity, the double-amputee runner’s friends told the Independent.

The legless track star, who runs using carbon-fiber blades, will spend the long weekend at a handicapped-friendly lockup instead of the dangerously cramped Pretoria jail known as New Lock.

“[He] will be treated the same as all the other detainees in our holding cells,” the station commander said. “We will accommodate his disability, but he will eat the same food and be put in the same cells as the rest of the detainees.”

Pistorius’ relatives and defense team visited him in jail yesterday and brought him a pillow.

In a statement, the family said, “The alleged murder is disputed in the strongest terms. He has made it very clear that he would like to send his deepest sympathies to the family of Reeva. He would also like to express his thanks through us today for all the messages of support he has received — but, as stated, our thoughts and prayers today should be for Reeva and her family — regardless of the circumstances of this terrible, terrible tragedy.”

Pistorius’ lawyer, Barry Roux, said, “There are some facts that we need to present to court that have not been made public yet.”

An autopsy was performed on Steenkamp, but cops said results would not be released.

Pistorius was a well-known gun lover who kept an arsenal in his house — as well as a cricket club and baseball bat — and bragged on Twitter about his shooting prowess.

He comes across as paranoid in his online posts, including one last November that said he got into “combat recon mode” when he heard a noise that turned out to be a washing machine.

Pistorius was particularly on edge in recent weeks, a close friend told The Post.

“He was paranoid the last few weeks. He was threatened,” said the pal, who would not explain further.

The runner has a history of violence and was once arrested for slamming a door on a woman, though the charges were dropped. He also allegedly threatened to break the legs of a man he accused of sleeping with a former girlfriend.

There were previous incidents of “a domestic nature” at Pistorius’ house, said Police Brig. Denise Beukes.

Neighbors had reported “screaming and fighting” at the house in Pretoria just before the shooting.

Pistorius’ arrest could completely derail the rising track star’s career.

He won three Paralympic medals and reached the 400-meter semifinals in last summer’s London Games when he became the first double-leg amputee to compete in the Olympics.

He earned between $5 million and $6 million a year from endorsements and appearances, including for Nike.

His sponsors have not said if they are dropping him.

“Given the ongoing legal proceedings, it would be inappropriate for us to give any further comment at present. Our thoughts are with all those affected,” a spokesperson for British Telecom said.

Nike South Africa spokeswoman Seruscka Naidoo said, “At this moment, it’s a matter that’s being investigated. We’re not speaking about the sponsorship.”

With

dan.macleod@nypost.com

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Sign up for Feb. 21 Miami Herald Small Business Forum

Prepare your best pitch for the Miami Herald’s Small Business Forum, Feb. 21 at the south campus of our sponsor, Florida International University.

In addition to how-to panels and inspirational stories from successful entrepreneurs, our annual small business forum will include interactive opportunities with experts to learn about financing options and polish your personal and business brands.

During our finance panel, audience volunteers will be invited to explain their financing needs to the group. During our box-lunch session, they will be invited to pitch their business or personal brand to our coaches.

Those who prefer just to listen will be treated to a keynote address by Alberto Perlman, co-founder of the global fitness craze Zumba. Panels include success stories from the local entrepreneurs who founded Sedano’s, Jennifer’s Homemade and ReStockIt.com; finance tips from experts in small business loans, venture capital, angel investments and traditional bank loans; and insiders in the burgeoning South Florida tech start-up scene.

Plus, it’s a real bargain. $25 includes the half-day seminar, continental breakfast and a box lunch.

Register here.

Program

8 a.m.

Registration and continental breakfast, provided by Bill Hansen Catering

8:30 a.m. Welcome

Host: David Suarez, president and CEO, Interactive Training Solutions, LLC

•  Jerry Haar, PhD, associate dean & director, FIU Eugenio Pino and Family Global

Entrepreneurship Center

•  Alice Horn, executive director, Network for Teaching Entrepreneurship (NFTE South Florida)

•  Jane Wooldridge, Business editor, The Miami Herald

Miami Herald Business Plan Challenge Overview:

•  Nancy Dahlberg, Business Plan Challenge coordinator, The Miami Herald

8:45 a.m. Session I – Success Stories

Moderator: Jerry Haar, PhD, associate dean & director, FIU Eugenio Pino and Family Global

Entrepreneurship Center

Speakers:

•  Jennifer Behar, founder, Jennifer’s Homemade

•  Matt Kuttler, co-president of ReStockIt.com

•  Javier Herrán, chief marketing officer, Sedano’s Supermarkets

10 a.m. Session II – All about Tech

Moderator: Jane Wooldridge, Business editor, The Miami Herald

Speakers

•  Susan Amat, founder, Launch Pad Tech

•  Nancy Borkowski, executive director, Health Management Programs, Chapman Graduate School of

Business, Florida International University

•  Chris Fleck, vice president of mobility solutions at Citrix and a director of the South Florida Tech Alliance

•  Charles Irizarry, co-founder and director of product architecture, Rokk3r Labs

11:15 a.m. Keynote

Speaker: Alberto Perlman, CEO and co-founder of Zumba® Fitness

Introduction: Jane Wooldridge, business editor, The Miami Herald

11:45 a.m. Session III – Show me the money: Financing your small business

An interactive session featuring audience volunteers who will be invited to make a short investment pitch before a panel, including experts in microlending, SBA loans, traditional bank loans, venture capital and angel investing. Audience volunteers should come prepared with a two-minute presentation that includes details about current backing, how much money they are seeking and a brief synosis of ow that money would be used.

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